Arthur writes of often feeling confused in the exercises and readings, in part because of language issues. (You might try working some of these out ‘nebenbei’ with some of the other German participants.) He has the sense the reading is getting more complicated, and that his understanding is alway shaky and at risk, like building a house of cards.
It’s tempting to say that sometimes the old ways of understanding do have to come crashing down. But I am not so sure that is what you are describing. I like your image of riding up and down in the same elevator of the self.
Anyway, you have your moments of insight, so I’m not too concerned. Important, of course, is not to hold on to any particular experience, but to let the next experience develop as it may.
In ways similar to the other posts I’ve commented on this morning, you are moved by the idea that Time is doing, or that you are time. You don’t need to be concerned that this is too egocentric (for a comment related to this, see the discussion in the first TSK book related to the exercise called “Intimacy.” It does seem right that exploring these new connections to time-space-knowledge goes in the direction that DTS calls for: a new way of being.
I laughed when I read your concern that by giving up possession of knowledge, you can no longer remember what you’ve read. That may also have to do with the way these books are written. As Peter writes in his Post, the words here also serve as symbols. So the right response is not to take hold of what is said, but to enter into it.
Jack