Yes, “we / I can only generate new stories” and most, these new stories are not so new. I give myself constantly reasons, explanations of my behaviour, being, feeling, not-feeling. Nearly incessantly I lecture myself or I justify myself. These are the longstanding pattern from today and this exercise. They are very familiar to me.
I lead myself to believe in knowledge, understanding of right / wrong, functioning. Very odd, this self-illusion seems a calming effect to my self-control-system . “Does it have a role to play at all?” Very ambiguous feelings. On the one hand it seems to me, I´m not constantly uncertain around my self. On the other hand: I´m prisoner of my own insights! Why? Because I can´t get off so easy out of this tough gear mechanism. It´s well trained, longlife.
I was fascinated with exploring/ investigating of this ” transition ” to the next story. First I thought, only in a retrospective view I can say some about this. But when I ” worked ” more soft and patient on this point, the ideas, pictures, stories opening themselves. I “looked” into a inexhaustible reservoire. No, not into. Stories coming out of it.
The question before last it was a paralysed, tied, bound energy, not solutary, refreshing.
Only idea of ” release “, relieves myself. Happens ” release ” it starts to be refreshing, playing.
Arthur
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