Sitting on the porch, I looked out under tree branches in the back yard toward the corn field beyond. While focused on the corn I realized I had recorded and named the sequence of what was unfolding as a running report to myself on what I was doing. I decided to try and work with TSK Ex 9B,C, and ‘open up’ defining regions. I let go of my specific focus on the corn and allowed body sensations to be included, which had the affect of not only widening my field of vision from its narrow focus, but also opening attention to all the senses, including sounds nearby and further away, my tactile sensations of body against chair and clothes, skin temperature differences, and an appreciation for visual differences in color and shading, and the slight residual taste of something I ate awhile ago.
Suddenly, the letting go of specific focus resulted in a more allowing space, and a fuller, more intimate experience. While I describe the specifics now, at that moment of expansion of focus, there was no weight given to one object over another, there was no subject pointing to separate objects, and there didn’t even seem to be one thing connected to another. When I ‘came out’ of that presence, I did so by involuntarily narrowing focus on some aspect; I think it was how sunlight seemed to x-ray the overhanging green leaves turning them yellow with sunlight, and how much I enjoyed the display. After that, narration and distinguishing between things, and now from then, seemed to dominate.
I’ll try not to abstract here, but presence (‘open uncommittedness‘) seems to be where intimacy (uniting of subject and object) happens.
David
