A self that is no longer assigned the job of providing continuity. What does this mean actually?
I imagined myself being in the world without the references of the self. Waking up in the morning and following a predetermined routine: having breakfast, remembering what has to be done, tasks at home, at the job, relationships, putting them on a list of priorities and making them happen. Without those references I might have felt lost, don´t knowing what to do.
This morning I woke up, and during my breakfast when I use to read something, I decided to read about TSK. When I read again the orientation for week 5 I realized I didn’t do the right theme in the assignment. I made the paper with the material on page one instead of the self story telling.
At first I felt guilty and blamed myself for the lack of attention. This is a negative pattern about myself. But decided to write the paper anyway, even if the mentor doesn´t look at this assignment. I felt that this is an important topic.
In looking to my experience and to trace the self´s role it was in the background of my mind that I had to do it nicely so people would like to read the paper. And all of a sudden I realized that this is another pattern and it was pushing to rule the outcome of the situation. So I decided to tell the story without pretending. Some openness came up.
The question is: is the self still in control or breaking patterns is just the beginning of the story of the self dropping off the job of providing continuity?