In the last few days, I have been worried about an issue, and this worry makes me be glued in thoughts and disconnected from the surroundings. There was a tension underneath, the reality showed itself limited and the wish of avoiding painful situations was strong, revealing a fear of loosing control.
Then, all of a sudden, there was a shift. The disconnection with the surroundings was visible and I realized that the emotionality that has been gravitating around thoughts was draining the power of awareness, and that the reality I was experiencing was no other than my thoughts.
In this shift, the disconnection was only noticed when the witnessing self was included. This inclusion made the feelings and sensations visible, the head and the heart connected and the aliveness of time present.
This inward movement brought the qualities of allowing and openness. I was able to embrace suggestions, to see people that could help. The claustrophobic quality I was in faded away.
We do not have to identify with the position of being the conductor (or the controller). Instead of conducting like a maestro in the concert hall, we can conduct as a wire conducts electricity. We can conduct without identity, not shaping but allowing. Our conducting can accord with the spontaneous presence of a transforming knowledge, dancing the finity of time’s presentations. DTS 147
We can turn inward to discover the dynamic of time that allows change and transition. Looking this way, the substantiality of the witness gives way.
Turning inward, we see that the presentations of objective time and its subjective witness are themselves ways in which time conducts knowledge into being. DTS 114
Hi Eliana,
Your phrase ” . . . the disconnection was only noticed when the witnessing self was included.” caught my attention.
That seems to be true as well of the self, the subject, and all the polarized interactions we have in life. When I am feeling resentment towards someone, it can really help to notice how emotional I am and how that is preventing me from any kind of balanced appreciation of a larger dynamic. To notice the noticer can open us to a wider realm, which includes both sides of whatever polarities are in force?
Is the entire act of witnessing–of feeling present–a set-up to feeling that “my” presence is the central fact of ‘my’ experience, and that everything else is somehow out there? Or is there a witness present before we take ownership?
Michael