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- David Filippone on A Change of Heart
- David Filippone on Giving Thoughts and Feelings Their Rightful Place
- Ken McKeon on Giving Thoughts and Feelings Their Rightful Place
- David Filippone on KNOWING NOT-KNOWING…
- Ken McKeon on KNOWING NOT-KNOWING…
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I noticed that the choice to explore or taste something tantalizing — mentally– I guess — gives me great relief, as if the self or non-self, mainly — that’s inviting or calling me– has been suffering in silence and just waiting to get out. The habit to ignore that ‘voice’, being, experience is old and automatic. The minute I let go of it, I feel as if I’m lifting off. And that allures me, makes me giddy.
The two practices for this week (asking who is doing, and saying “No” to the doing) have a paradoxical feel. The first reveals that there is mostly no need for a self to control what is happening and that the presence of a controlling self is often not visible. The second that there may be an entity who doesn’t appreciate being thwarted. Meanwhile, if no self arises into prominence during the normal activities of the day (for instance, writing this sentence feels more like dancing to the music of the wind than to “my” individual mind), is the self still always there, like a slumbering king who is ready at any moment to awaken if her right to rule is called into question? Like life in a dictatorship where many freedoms have been eliminated, but ordinary life continues? — Michael
One of the valuable parts of this exercise is that we can carry it out so easily at every moment, since we are always ‘doing’ something. All we have to do is decide to ask the question.
Of course, then the question arises: who decides whether to ask the question.
It strikes me that this line of questions ties in to the other practice for this week: saying ‘no’ to the self’s desires. Because the self, for the most part, seems to be the one that does not want to bother to ask questions; the one that questions make uncomfortable. Asking a question about the self is already saying ‘no’ to the self.
So is my observation too: a lot of activities are running “automatically” and I often wondered who was telling me to do so, who is the chief. There seem to be many chiefs, even when I ask who is formulating the words, who is deciding? I found a strong connection to the role I inhabit in a situation and of course to the emotional setting.
Regarding the question “Who is doing?” from Last Sunday’s conversation,
I tried to observe some of my actions at work. Regarding physical activities
that I “know by heart”, it seems that my chest and hands are “doing” on
their own. My motivation includes the wish to make my workplace run
like a well-oiled machine. The question “Who is formulating the words I
speak?” requires reflection in a less familiar area. So many things come
into play: my present mood, my wish to direct the course of the present
situation, my reactions to events and my emotions, etc.