Hi, panic is past, but not forgotten. Medicine has its expected effect. Yes, I still planning to attend the retreat, and I´m now optimistically.
Beforehand a repeated experience: either I come into the exercise very quick or not – and I toddle round about. Do I come quickly, there are most a lot of details. In Ex. 9 A the objects appear in their material structure “less material”, as if I could “come through” the chair (my object in focus). The distance is decreasing or better, the feeling of being separate is fading away. The feeling “Ego here and chair there” is changing into: all in one world. The chair is standing 1m in front of the desk, but all objects are loosing the character of being separate. When I´m focusing edges and borders the 3-dimensionality changes into 2-dimensionality and back. These firm distinctions loosing their significance.
I`m curious and want to know it: I´m sitting on the chair. Immidiately I feel the “real”, tangible chair, with seat and back. Slowly I forget the “real” chair and sitting undoubtedly on the chair: I just sitting (withbody, mind, wholly).When I get up from the chair, the object, on which I´m sitting, changes back into the conventional, real, firm chair.
On page 279, line 6:…..space itself becomes more spacious. This sounds so simple, but it is a very directly feeling. Not only “me here – object there” is changing, also “me so – object otherwise” is changing. The being difference diminished.
Good experience!
Arthur