Walking to the shops and during shopping, I attempted to rest awareness at the arising of the future. The first thing I noticed was that ‘I’ was not there (at least not in the usual/habitual sense that I feel myself to be ‘here’). I had to go back, to drop away into the past (to drop into linear time?) to find ‘myself’.
At future’s arising ‘I’ was subsumed in what I saw, heard, felt and not in any reaction to any of that: advertisements on street corners; notices in shop windows; the vibrant quality of people I met in the street and in shops. Again, this was rather spatial for me – I felt to be focused in the front of the body. The density of me lay ‘behind and down’.
Sometimes, sitting quietly, it is the sense of an (audible) rushing of time ‘towards’ me. Almost like a non-substantial river of unborn possibilities – hugely invigorating, refreshing and inspiring.
I mentioned during Sunday’s class that receiving the future seemed to be associated with the in-breath. I am struck by the double meaning of the verb ‘to inspire’ !!
Caroline
A Canadian Friend sent this a few minutes ago, quite unsolicited:
I’m Alive, I Believe in Everything
Lesley Choyce
From: Beautiful Sadness. Victoria, B.C.: Ekstasis Editions, 1998.
I’m Alive, I Believe in Everything
Self. Brotherhood. God. Zeus. Communism.
Capitalism. Buddha. Vinyl records.
Baseball. Ink. Trees. Cures for disease.
Saltwater. Literature. Walking. Waking.
Arguments. Decisions. Ambiguity. Absolutes.
Presence. Absence. Positive and Negative.
Empathy. Apathy. Sympathy and entropy.
Verbs are necessary. So are nouns.
Empty skies. Dark vacuums of night.
Visions. Revisions. Innocence.
I’ve seen All the empty spaces yet to be filled.
I’ve heard All of the sounds that will collect
at the end of the world.
And the silence that follows.
I’m alive, I believe in everything
I’m alive, I believe in it all.
Waves lapping on the shore.
Skies on fire at sunset.
Old men dancing on the streets.
Paradox and possibility.
Sense and sensibility.
Cold logic and half truth.
Final steps and first impressions.
Fools and fine intelligence.
Chaos and clean horizons.
Vague notions and concrete certainty.
Optimism in the face of adversity.
I’m alive, I believe in everything
I’m alive, I believe in it all.