Ex.18 B
Evening, in the theater sitting: how do I now experience time? Cutain has been opening. It is how gliding into my “self”. And, although I´m looking toward the stage, I´m nothing aware of the scene on stage. I´m constantly changing between stage and inner observing. It seems given only either or. Than, for a shrt moment, I´m staying on (perceiving) stage and inside me (perhaps more precise: with my breathing in and out). This short moment is a quiet, soft and cheering experienced feeling, whichcomprise a lot in my consciousness. If I would describe this,this”opening” immediately would disappear.
I experience time, mor or less clearly, as flow, something flowing. Than I´m hesitating, thinking: this is my soft breathing, nothing else. All reflections about it will bring up new concepts, insights and so on, but this is not: experiencing time! Than hesitation again: do I experience my thinking flow? There is a movement, a kind of passing – means time-flow. Nevertheless I´m composed, not confused – although my awareness is very changeable.
Than a sequnce on stage with music, loud, rhythmical:Oh, now I´m more closely in the flow of time. My foot beats the rhythm.What is felt time, what is movement in the foot, in my mind? The whole experience is very time-ful. Do you have this word?
 On the way home ,at night, driving car, I hear the sound of the rolling car. I see the asphalt in the light in front of me: I´m gliding! Again this “multiple” feeling, as if I´m riding on a time-wave. My wife is asking me sth. and “schwupps”, I´m in another world.
Ex. 19 is too much for me, less to difficult. I would have to write to much. It is my “daily bread” in therapy, we do nothing else, up and down.
After lon reflectioning, I came to the focus/picture: it is like a hourglas. Above much fine sand( the pastcollection), than there is much crum in front of the closely way-through of the glas. The most closely part is my presence, being wake, conscious here and now. Than the uge reservoir of the future( the other half of the glas)
I know, that´s a poor comparison, everytime is something missing. In German we say: jeder Vergleich hinkt- means, every comparison is limping.
Looking forward to the second week
Arthur