For me, an example of experiencing the quality of darkness within thoughts and feelings is when I’m faced with entering a social situation with numerous people and I feel a shyness, an impulse to hold back or pull back. Looking into that anxiety I see myself scanning the room looking for signs of danger that might justify this inner sense of threat. While this kind of looking is outward, it’s a very narrow focus, a compressed and dark outlook that is closing off the fullness of the current available experience. Realizing this, I can look into why I’m reacting this way and trace, in an instant, all these types of holding back behaviors to my childhood fear of my father, a primary authority figure. Suddenly, that tracing reveals my pattern of thinking, of ‘being wary’ and watching for negative intentions, and I relax, lightness and light enter my being. I’m now open to the others in the room, no longer preoccupied with myself, but interested in the current situation.
David
