Beyond Allegiances

Have you ever noticed that sometimes, reading TSK’s incisive critiques of ordinary knowledge, a protest stirs within and you say, “but I do feel something beyond this ordinariness”?  And can this actually be a recognition of a way out of the ordinariness being critiqued?  Starting at the last line of LOK 37, “The bonds of country . . . family . . can be studied from outside . . . but not ‘known’ directly from within.”  I found myself protesting that this is obviously true of the selfishness so evident in the behavior of the powerful, but my own feelings about my children in fact provide me with my richest sort of inner knowledge.  A few sentences later, “And this domain (of subjective identity) remains inaccessible to knowledge.”  This raises questions for me: Is it not the case that our chief way of knowing who we are comes from the caring, unselfish impulses that arise within us?  Is it not rather the degree to which we are driven by selfish ‘wants’ and ‘needs’ that closes down our access to knowledge?  Provided that we are animated by a spirit of caring for others, can these allegiances (“bonds”) be starting points, which provide us with a knowledge deeper than the operations of our ordinary, “technological” orientations?  Or is this just that part of me, which is not ready to challenge my illusions, making a stand? — Michael

About Michael Gray

I first started studying TSK in the mid 1980's and have since attended a number of retreats and workshops at the Nyingma Institute, in both TSK and Buddhist themes. I participated in the life-changing Human Development Training Program in 1991, and upon returning to Albuquerque co-founded an organization, Friends in Time (with a friend who has Lou Gehrig's Disease), which continues to serve people with similiar disabilities. I contributed an essay to "A New Way of Being"--the last one in the book--in which I describe how learning to honor who I have been has broadened and deepened my openness to present experience. I live in New Mexico with my wife and two sons.
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3 Responses to Beyond Allegiances

  1. Karin says:

    Hi Michael, I also think that there are many doorways for different people. And from my experience dark feelings are not helpful at all. My doorway to openness is confidence and joy – I can not force it, but I do my best to let it be. Connecting people practising TSK is one way for me which is helpful and encouriging.

  2. michaelg says:

    Hi Karin,
    I appreciate your comment: both the reminder that joy is a doorway into a bigger, more open world; and your remark, which I also think is valid, about how rare true caring is, in ourselves and others. Personally, I think that I get stuck when I become too aware of the difficutly in living honestly. It isn’t a good starting point for me. In your post last montth, you said:
    “I am both – happy and unhappy about this. Happy because there are countless possibilities of freedom to discover and to live. Unhappy because it is so difficult to be aware of this freedom or to embody it. ”
    I guess we all have different doorways that allow us to feel alive and fulfilled. For me, taking pleasure in a sense of fullness an engagement, seems to awaken me to life better than dwelling on a vision that I am battling against overwhelming odds. Perhaps that’s because I can remember feeling demoralized and unrelated to the world around me, and am in no hurry to revisit that dark world. How about you? Michael

  3. Karin says:

    Hi Michael,
    from my experience there are 2 answers to your question.
    1. Caring is connected to joy – opening the heart – making our world somehow bigger..
    2. Unselfish caring is very seldom. When I am very honest I often see a selfish desire like the wish, to be loved, to be important,….being disappointed, when the people I am caring for do not notice it…
    Therefore I think caring can be a starting point when I am really honest about my intentions.

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